Waxing physically and philosically...

After literally years of deliberation, and as a result of some delicate and some less delicate prodding, this blog is my effort to organize - to bring together - my thoughts about my work as a conductor and as a personal trainer, to rant and rave as necessary, to celebrate the little things and the larger moments of brilliance, and to share some conductive magic and life lessons gained through 'waxing physically and philosophically'.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

NICE Conductors need not Apply

This morning Conductive World Market on Facebook let me know about an amazing job opportunity with Move & Walk, a holistic Conductive Education centre in Sweden that I have been following for years. They have programs for babies through to older adults, have found creative and holistic ways to work with the Swedish health care system and with other professionals, have done research and always present well at conferences.  Move and Walk Sweden

Though I'm not presently looking to move across the world for a job, the free spirit in me can't help but be interested... An awesome job opportunity with people I'd love to work with in a place I've never been - very tempting indeed!

In terms of my experience and skill set I am an ideal candidate for this job and have no doubt that I could be an asset to their team; as an added bonus I have have basic Norwegian language skills which would make their requirement of learning Swedish more easily attainable. However, the job posting specifically stipulates that they are looking for "a Petö graduate conductor".

I'm not precious; I'm not offended to the core of my being or anything, and in fact think it is more their loss - there are a lot of excellent and innovative 'non-Petö' conductors out there and I am extremely proud to be a NICE conductor. But this Petö conductor vs non-Petö conductor thing has been a thing since I graduated and it still makes me quite angry. It may not have been meant to be an excluding job post; perhaps I should give the person who posted the job the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant condutors trained in the Petö method vs specifically at the Petö Institute - but as I said, this has been a thing for a long time now. I think that we need to come together as a profession, and learn to judge each other by what we offer as professionals instead of what school we went to. And, I think us non-Petö conductors and our colleagues and the families we have supported over the decade and a half since conductors have been trained outside of the Petö Institute should probably stop being 'NICE' about this.

--The Five Man Electrical Band

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Anudder Tough Mudder...

Everybody's talking about Tough Mudder - and since I first heard of it I've been talking about it too, insisting that it looks awesome but that there was no way I could / would / or should do it.  My friend and colleague recently blogged about signing up saying that it was for the challenge and to give purpose and direction to her training.  Emy's blogs inspire me - and I read this and thought 'good on you honey, I'm not doing it'... Tough and Tougher - Emy's Blog.

So, as you can imagine, I'm still trying to get over my state of shock that I too now have signed up.  So why the change of heart, you ask?  To be honest, there has really been no change of heart.  I'm still terrified, I'm still not sure that I can do it and still believe that some of the course will be borderline impossible for me.  I still think that coming back from my wedding and honeymoon only three weeks before the event will disrupt my training and add further challenge to an already challenging event to train for physically and mentally.  So why did I sign up?

Was it peer pressure?  Yes and no.  Alexander runs a bootcamp, I train in; everyone from bootcamp is entering the challenge as a team.  But there was no pleading or judgement - everyone was cool with me saying no way hosé.  But everyone was doing it and I was starting to feel left out, and like I was letting the team down by not going.  So there was peer pressure, but as usual I was the jury of my peers, I was putting the pressure on my self.

I was also the one doubting myself -- I started to listen to what I was thinking - that if there were some things I couldn't do I'd be letting the team down, and that I'd never be strong enough or fit enough or brave enough.

How ridiculous - I was worrying about letting the team down if I tried and couldn't do everything or wasn't good enough, and I was worried about letting the team down by not trying at all.  What an awful lot of worrying.  And Alexander said - 'do it, don't do it, stop worrying, I just don't want you to regret not doing it'.

I remember the days of Canada fitness testing back in primary school - I was so unfit and fat and uncoordinated I was actually allowed (and encouraged by our school's gym teacher Mr C.) to sit in the library and read and was still given a participation certificate.  I was absolutely alright with that.  I was good at reading, not so good at running and jumping, and was happier to not try than to fail.  I'm still sometimes that way - but I don't like that about me and it is something I try to work on.

That's not me anymore.  Nearly 20 years after 'participating' in Canada fitness testing from the comfort of the school library I went back to show Mr. C. my certificate and medal for completing my half marathon.  He didn't care, but clearly I did.  I've done lots of things I was afraid of doing, gone here and there mostly by myself, tried this, challenged that, but I'm still afraid of physical challenges, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of not being good enough.  Alexander is right - I want to do this and am afraid.  (Yes Alexander - just like that cache at the top of Glacier mountain that we almost found - I wanted to but it got dark and cold and hard and I was afraid and I talked myself out of it and us back down the mountain - my only regret from our Canada holiday).

So why did I sign up? Because Alexander is right, I will regret not doing it - and the old me would have been alright volunteering in the event first aid tent, would have accepted that there are things that other people did and I didn't because I couldn't.  That's not me anymore - I was already feeling sidelined and left out 6 months before the actual event.  I was going to regret not doing something and it was my choice, not Mr C.'s doing, and it wasn't too late to change that so I signed up.

I honestly am still terrified and still doubt whether I will be able to meet every challenge on the day but I'm going to train for it, I'm going to go, I'm going to try my best, I'm going to 'give it all I got' and if I'm going to let the team down at least I'll do so stewing in mud and fun instead of sitting at home in a puddle of excuses and regret.  If you are interested, here is the tough mudder official video.

And this is not grade school, and this team is okay with my strengths and weaknesses just as I am with theirs.  And Alexander smiled with his mouth and his eyes when he said 'I'm glad you are coming - we are going to have so much fun together'.